Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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