Already got asked if we're dating
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
