He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
did you just send me my own nude
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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