I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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