yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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