does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
