In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
