hotel room ftw
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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