Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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