That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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