It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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