Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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