I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dear god my vagina.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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