Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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