Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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