I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
