I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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