if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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