She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
id be glad to
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
