Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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