whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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