it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
