I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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