last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
