So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
