"it" just moved
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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