A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
babies were throwing up all over the place
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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