I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
