Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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