there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
