I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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