And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
