youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
