I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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