Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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