my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
