Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm going to jail i love you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
