Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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