i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
