I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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