omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
