ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
