singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
