As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
