another moral hangover. fuck.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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