I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?