Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
where am i from again
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!