Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.