i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
