This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
