Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
