Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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