this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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