can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
