i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
