She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
