I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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