I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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