What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
