you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
