alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize